Thursday, March 02, 2006

Moving Moving Moving On...

Got the news today that, the workmate of mine who told me about his wife’s pregnancy last year the day after my previous failed IVF attempt – is due to give birth any minute.

Always bad timing.  Was meant to do lunch with him tomorrow, you know, a professional power lunch in some overcharged restaurant, hoping to boost my confidence and be proud to be a career woman (of sort).  He emailed and said nah mate, can’t do lunch tomorrow; the missus is due to give birth any minute. 

So ho-hum – probably better off anyway, I am in such a foul mood today I almost had a go at the woman who served me at the café counter, I wanted to say to her GET WITH THE PROGRAM, I SAID I WANT MORE PASTA AND LESS CHIPS, IS THAT TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND?  SHALL I JUMP OVER TO YOUR SIDE OF THE COUNTER AND GIVE YOU A FREAKING HAND?  But of course I didn’t.  I am not made like that.

Just bad, bad mood today, depressed, deflated, defeated and SAD.  The cramps are getting increasingly real as I close in on the test date.

Despite my foul mood I am a little bit calmer then last round of FET.  (Can you be angry and calm at the same time?).  I have a little holiday planned for the long weekend, I am trying to make the most of the situation. 

Rang mom this morning to chat about brother’s upcoming wedding in March.  Was going okay until I blurted out about my recent FET cycle, and I commented that I am getting cramps and don’t know if this will work.  Mom thought for a moment, and said don’t worry, it’s not meant to be.  If you want you can always adopt a little girl from China.

Apart from the time Mom told me she threw away all my high school and university text books because she was doing spring cleaning and `needed the space’, this is the only other time I want to tell her to F-off and hang up on her. 

Sigh.

4 comments:

Mony said...

:(
Now I am the one holding out hope for you dollface.

Thinking of you & praying like a heathan. xxxxx

Pamplemousse said...

Mothers are not a help at times like this. Hang in there, Drew.

Thalia said...

My mother is bleeding useless, too. I'm sorry. I hope that the cramps are nothing to worry about, but I know it must be making you miserable. You seem to be waiting a long time to test - why not test at 14 dpo?

Em said...

Hmm...adoption in China. So easy! I just don't think anyone, unless they are going through it, really understand. I don't know if this gives any encouragement but I had crampy feelings before I tested positive and I was popping pamprin to stave off the pain. Then I tested. Hang in there.