Got the news today that, the workmate of mine who told me about his wife’s pregnancy last year the day after my previous failed IVF attempt – is due to give birth any minute.
Always bad timing. Was meant to do lunch with him tomorrow, you know, a professional power lunch in some overcharged restaurant, hoping to boost my confidence and be proud to be a career woman (of sort). He emailed and said nah mate, can’t do lunch tomorrow; the missus is due to give birth any minute.
So ho-hum – probably better off anyway, I am in such a foul mood today I almost had a go at the woman who served me at the café counter, I wanted to say to her GET WITH THE PROGRAM, I SAID I WANT MORE PASTA AND LESS CHIPS, IS THAT TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND? SHALL I JUMP OVER TO YOUR SIDE OF THE COUNTER AND GIVE YOU A FREAKING HAND? But of course I didn’t. I am not made like that.
Just bad, bad mood today, depressed, deflated, defeated and SAD. The cramps are getting increasingly real as I close in on the test date.
Despite my foul mood I am a little bit calmer then last round of FET. (Can you be angry and calm at the same time?). I have a little holiday planned for the long weekend, I am trying to make the most of the situation.
Rang mom this morning to chat about brother’s upcoming wedding in March. Was going okay until I blurted out about my recent FET cycle, and I commented that I am getting cramps and don’t know if this will work. Mom thought for a moment, and said don’t worry, it’s not meant to be. If you want you can always adopt a little girl from
Apart from the time Mom told me she threw away all my high school and university text books because she was doing spring cleaning and `needed the space’, this is the only other time I want to tell her to F-off and hang up on her.
Sigh.
4 comments:
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Now I am the one holding out hope for you dollface.
Thinking of you & praying like a heathan. xxxxx
Mothers are not a help at times like this. Hang in there, Drew.
My mother is bleeding useless, too. I'm sorry. I hope that the cramps are nothing to worry about, but I know it must be making you miserable. You seem to be waiting a long time to test - why not test at 14 dpo?
Hmm...adoption in China. So easy! I just don't think anyone, unless they are going through it, really understand. I don't know if this gives any encouragement but I had crampy feelings before I tested positive and I was popping pamprin to stave off the pain. Then I tested. Hang in there.
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