The Sunshine of My Life

Just hours after my last post about narkiness, one hour past midnight into the start of 22nd March, my waters broke with a vengance - I officially went into labour. I had a late night, for some insane reason I wanted to finish up all the accounting work I was doing for Apeman, so I was on the computer madly tapping away. Eventually Apeman managed to get me off the computer and in bed with him. We talked about when Poopee will arrive, we talked about the possibility of getting an induction in my 39th week, we talked about Poopee.

Then I felt a gush of warm fluids passing through the vagina. I was scared shitless. I rang the midwife whilst sitting on a towel, and was told to go straight to the hospital.

1:30am We arrived at delivery suite reception.

1:31am I requested for epidural. Fuck the previous drugs free birth plan.

2:00am I felt the first strong contraction. It was painful but bearable.

2:05am I was told I am 2cm dilated.

2:10am Was told to get some rest as I was still in`pre-labour' and still has a while to go. Was hit with a massive contraction pain and I requested for epidural again.

3:00am Standing under hot showers with nozzles directing at the lower back, cursing in two different languages. Heard a lady next door moaning and screaming through her own contractions. We somehow managed to synchronise.

3:30am Epidural guy arrived. Apeman supported me whilst the doctor insert that happy drug into my back. It was a funny feeling, slightly painful but at this stage I was desperate for anything.

3:45am Internal examination indicates I was 5 cm dilated. I was also told my Poopee has a full head of hair.

6:00am Calmly discussed the joys of parenthood and infertility with young midwife as I breathe through my contractions. Her shift ends at 7:00am so we both agreed it was a shame she doesn't get to see me give birth...etc. I couldn't feel the pains, but can definitely feel an uncomfortable pressure on my bottom. It wasn't pleasant but bearable.

7:30am Apeman bought coffee, Starburst lollies and a muffin. I was going to have a bite but was told not to in case I need to go to theatre. Was told my good doctor who will be doing the delivery will arrive at 8:45am to do an internal examination on me.

8:40am Good doctor arrived. Fingers in. The first thing he said was, `This baby has a full head of hair!'. The second thing he said was,`On your next contraction I want you to start pushing.' I was 10cm dilated - and was a little surprised because I thought I still have a few hours to go!

8:45am First push. I felt like I was pushing at nothing in particular. My doctor positioned me properly and asked me to push against a certain direction. I did my best.

9:14am Apparently my best was good enough. The head of my beautiful girl emerges.

9:15am The love of my life slide out of my body easily and was placed on my stomach. She has a full head of wet hair, her arms and legs were kicking up in the air - screaming at the indignity of it all! I was crying and told her in my mother's tongue that I have been waiting for her for so long. Then she opened her eyes and `see' me and Apeman for the first time, she is indeed the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

We named her Megan. She is forever my Poopee. My sweet. My everything. She is well worth the wait.

Currently I am surviving on adrenaline, since giving birth on 22nd March I haven't slept much at all. I can't take my eyes off her. She looks like Apeman when she sleeps, and a bit like me when she opens her eyes. She weighed a little under 7 lbs and measured 42cm long when she was born.

And yes she indeed has a full head of hair, it makes us so proud to push her around the hospital nursery amongst all the other bald-headed babies. Words cannot explain how happy we both are at the moment. We are trully blessed.

My Inner Narkiness

The novelty is starting to wear off.

As much as I enjoy this miracle pregnancy (with the second trimester been a dream come true), I now really want to give birth, like right now or even YESTERDAY. I have been dreaming and dreaming about my little Poopee, wondering how she looks like. Even Apeman had a dream about her. So she must be near.

The thing which annoys me, and to be honest it used to amuse me and made me feel like the most popular girl in the world, is that now everybody is asking me when I am giving birth. The butcher, the pharmacist, the girl I buy my Mt Franklin water from, my beautician, my hairdresser, MY FAMILY. Everybody. Everyday. My sister calls me up once a day and always starts the conversation with - `When are you going to pop?'. So last night I snapped and told her (in the best calm voice I could manage) to please stop asking me that question, I will phone you as soon as I go into labour (not). In the end it made me feel so horrible that I lost sleep over it. I feel bad because she is only asking out of concern and excitement for me - just like the rest of the people. I feel like a bitch.

I guess I am getting really frustrated because I can hardly go out these days (walking is painful due to the pressure exerted on my pelvis and butthole), so sitting at home waiting for something to happen, despite the various distractions Apeman has provided me with, is not entirely fun.

Last night I asked Apeman if he would like to `put out' - maybe by having a quick bonk we can speed things up a little. He looked at me with amusement and said yes. But it was a reluctant `are-you-sure' yes. So I said if you don't find me attractive enough these days to have sex with then bugger it. He said he feels disrespectful to Poopee if he makes it with me whilst she is still inside. Which is fair enough because the last thing I need in that cramped space of mine is a reluctant penis.

Writing that last sentence made me laugh. :)

That Epilator can wait....

Two days ago I saw the tiniest bit of blood streak on my cervical mucous after a routine wee. I analysed it for a little while, called the midwife, and was told it was probably a show. I doubted it because the blood streak was so tiny it cannot possibly be a `proper show'. But the midwife reckoned it was. Anyhoo I haven't seen anymore of that (blood) since.

Last night I tried my best to epilate my legs (we ain't going into labour with hairy legs here), unfortunately for me my trusty Braun epilator made a sad little noise and died on me at the most crucial moment (I was halfway through my other leg). So I was going to drive down to my local electrical store this morning to pick up a new one. And then I read about this. My Canadian friend who share similar due dates with me just gave birth, by surprise! I am totally happy for her that everything worked out well, and her baby is so lovely.

Looks like I am staying home today - I am just going to have to settle for one half-epilated hairy leg. Hope nobody notice.

A snap shot

Poopee's in da house.

37 weeks - The almost home run

I can hardly contain my excitement this morning - 37 weeks this week. I can hardly wait to find out how this Kinder Surprise will look like. My little chocolate egg.

At times she is like a breakdancer, kicking and manoveuring ther legs across my stomach. Sometimes it hurts so much I have to jump up and get some relief. I find it helps to talk to her. Poopee calms down for a few moments if I talk to her gently. It really is quite amazing.

Yesterday me and the Ape went to meet with the chief midwife for our pre-admission appointment. We went over the costs of everything (right down to the costs of phone calls and an epidural shot). We were both asked about our medical histories. One thing we did not discuss was my birth plan. I don't have one anyway so I guess that didn't really matter.

I am too tired to write anything sensible or remotely interesting. I haven't been sleeping at all. I wee up to 8 or 9 times a night, and I don't even drink that much water. I am so sleepy but am too scared to sleep during the day in case I can't sleep at night. Hopefully I will be able to get some sleep before the labour starts. Also my pelvis is about to fall apart.

ZZZzzzzzz....

36 weeks plus

Me and poopee were examined by the good doctor just now. The outcome of this appointment was:

• Mommy's blood pressure is still good (a.k.a. normal). So the discomfort I have been feeling lately (the bloating and pressure on bowels) is really Poopee's fault.
• Sugar levels fine - considering the recent indulgements I had, I am damn lucky already.
• Poopee has well, and trully, engaged in my pelvis. Her head is so deep into my pelvis I think I can almost touch her if I reach deep enough. But of course I won't try that one at home. That's mental.
• Poopee is growing well, and continues to be a good size, therefore making her a bit larger than the average baby.
• Internal examination at 38 weeks. And if the cervix is ready, I maybe induced as soon as 38.5 weeks. Which means I maybe having a March Poopee. Fingers crossed because I much rather be expecting the expected, than having my waters broken in public, probably at somewhere really inconvenient like the bank's queue or in my car whilst I'm driving. And with Poopee's size, it makes me a reasonable candidate for inducement.

Dumb-ass question of the week:

Good Doctor: I will be doing an internal examination on you in two weeks time.

Dumbass Drew: Is that going to hurt?

Good Doctor: I think you have bigger things to worry about in a few weeks time. And no, for your information, it doesn't hurt.

Apeman's moment of the week:

Apeman: I saw something really funny yesterday. I was watching you pick up dog shit in the backyard. You were wearing that short dress, and you leaned over, and I can see your undies, and that's the not funny part, I saw your underbelly too. It looks massive from the angle I was watching you from.

Drew: Nice.

Holy Crap!

Now I know I am not a slip of a girl. I know I have been indulging in food and sweet treats. I know I eat quite frequently and in abundance. Because I am happy and don't want to undernourish my unborn.

Imagine my utter shock and horror just now when I was moisturising myself post-shower in front of the bedroom room mirror - and saw patches of angry red welts running all the way up my buttocks and down to my mid-thigh. I have seen these welts before - maybe I wasn't looking for them. Those bloody Palmer's advertisements show them all the time - pregnant women with red stretch marks around the stomach to show you what you will look like if you don't use their product.

I religiously moisturise my stomach. Not with Palmer's stuff, but normal body butter because I have an allergic reaction to the Palmer's products. I must have thought my thighs are immuned to stretch marks.

Yikes!

35 Weeks 5 days Update

How low can you go?

Well apparently in my case, my already low-sitting baby bump has dropped even lower. My body literally can stop traffic these days. Lots of strangers come up to me asking me when I'm due - and get a huge shock when I tell them I still have at least four more weeks to go. The thing is I don't even look that big, but my low sitting baby bump gives people the impression that I was due YESTERDAY.

Even maternity pants at this stage are no longer comfortable. I wear the looset sack dresses just to give my low-hanging Poopee a bit of room.

I really can't wait to have Poopee out. I had another birthing dream last night. This time I dreamt about a drug-free delivery with my beloved Apeman and my good doctor by my side, Poopee weighs in at 17 pounds (yikes!), and she talks! It was very bizarre to say the least.

Poopee continues to use my pelvic floor as her bouncy-castle. She was kicking so hard last night during dinner, I can see (and feel) her little knobby knees pushing out from either sides of my stomach. I was in so much pain that I had to stand up and rock her gently. Think Ommpa Loompa doing a rather slow belly dance.

4 more weeks till I see my Poopee's face. I am going to rain thousands of kisses on her face and baby feet - just to make up for lost time.