Friday, February 23, 2007

34 Weeks + Several Days

Once I watched this movie, or maybe it was an advert, about this expectant mom who started to have contractions in the middle of the night. Her husband completely freaked out and ran around the house frantically searching for the car keys, hoping to get the show on the road as soon as possible. All this while the expectant mom stood calmly beside her packed overnight bag, smiling at her husband.

I never understood where that sense of calm came from.

Yesterday I woke up feeling `weird'. Like something was up. The weird feeling didn't go away and gradually throughout the day, I felt alot of pressure on my, urm, bum area. I can literally feel Poopee's head `descended' into my pelvic region. It was quite uncomfortable to say the least. Then later on the night, I started to feel the beginnings of a mild pelvic pain, for maybe 20 minutes or so.

No sense of calm from me. I completely freaked out to the point I had to put the TV on `mute' just so I can concentrate on my thoughts and what's happening.

Everything is okay today. I think it was Poopee wanting to lock herself in the `engaged' position, or something. I am carrying so low I just can't tell. I reckon when my waters break I will probably scream like a little girl.

In my freakish moments (what's new?) I promptly packed my bags for the hospital.

Better stay home just to be on the safe side. Oh. And charge all batteries.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

34 Weeks

Wonderful, wonderful news today from my friend - who really is a trooper. It certainly makes my day. Well done Bugsy.

Today at 34 weeks I have severe back pain, minimal sleep, lots of uterus tightening/Braxton Hicks contractions, and the occasional flash of childbirth images floating in my mind. It is becoming real. To celebrate this 34-week milestone, me and my visiting girlfriend from London went to a teeny-bopper shop and tried on teeny-bopper clothes. She went nuts when she saw me in my tight rock-chic tee-shirt (bearing my underbelly) and unzipped tight crop jeans ensemble. It was a real vision.

Went to a Chinese New Year celebration dinner last night. Apparently this year is the year of the Golden Pig. Apparently lots of Chinese couples are fighting to conceive this year just to secure their own little golden piggy. Me and Apeman aren't fussy - all we want for Christmas is a healthy, happy baby. With Poopee being a golden piggy is a bonus.

She is already the apple in our eyes.

Halfway through the dinner we were told there will be a dragon dance performance. Loud drums banged through the entire time, so I was a little worried about Poopee's reaction to the commotion outside her safe home. She stopped wriggling for a few minutes, but once she got used to the noise outside, she started to kick her feet (against mommy's stomach) to the rhythm of the drums. I rubbed her bottom gently to soothe her.

I looked over across the table and saw my mother watching me. She had a wide grin on her face. Her attention was on me rubbing my baby. It was a nice moment between me and my mother, afterall she was there for me after all my failed IVF cycles.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Life as it happens

I hauled myself to my local McDonald's this morning for my weekly hotcakes sloshed with hash browns sloshed with hot chocolate binge.

As I sat down with my big breakfast, it occured to me that the next couple of weeks will be the last of my lonely carefree days. Possibly the next time I want a sit-down morning breakfast at McDonald's, I will have to consider my baby's needs, her mood of the day... etc ..amongst other lovely little baby things I will need to consider. I also realise that the `just the two of us' lonely days between me and Apeman may soon be over, or at least be different. Throughout this pregnancy I have not seriously considered what life will be like post baby - because I was too worried about the pregnancy. As per John Lennon's most famous phrase:

`Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.'
Instead for me it reflects:
`Pregnancy is what happens to you are busy worrying about everything.'

It is not that I am not prepared for motherhood - oh GOD I totally am. I have been wanting to be a mom for such a long time, I cannot wait to have my little bundle of joy in my arms and care for her, and be her everything. It is just that I have been so worried about the pregnancy I have forgotten to enjoy (at the very least) the last days of our single-married life, just to treasure the things we normally take for granted. Like going to the movies anytime we want to, or to go to bed whenever we want and sleep however long we want.

Today during my meal at McDonald's, an old Chinese lady came up to me and spoke to me in her language (as I later worked out that it was in fact Beijing Mandarin, which is alot more intense than ordinary Mandarin). I realise the reason she came to me for help was because I am Oriental myself, and she thought maybe I could understand her. She seemed really distressed and later she brought her husband to me (who was using a walking cane and appeared alot older than her). Unfortunately I could not understand a word she said (Mandarin is not my forte), but from what I gathered they caught the wrong bus, and was left stranded in the middle of nowhere. Sadly due to their language problem nobody could help them. After much fumbling and hand gestures (her husband was able to utter a few English words), they gave me a phone number to call, which turned out to be a local Asian community association. I was able to speak to the lady at the reception and we used her our translator. The receptionist explained to me their situation as recounted by the older gentleman, and she asked if I could drop the old couple off at a nearby petrol station, and there I was to contact an associate of hers so he could pick them up.

I did and when their ride arrived, the old lady held my hand and thanked me. She said `good, good' and pointed at my belly. I think she was trying to say something nice about my baby. It was that instant my baby decided to kick in response. I nearly cried. I am not sure why, maybe something to with the older gentleman reminding me of my passed grandpa, or maybe it was just a nice moment. Whatever it was feels good.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The 32 Week Non-Event

Unborn Poopee's Gestational Age: 32 weeks and 3 days
Present: Drew & Apeman
Location: Ape-Land Bathroom
Evidence: A single stained Carefree panty-liner - breathable and unscented - stained with a questionable colour.

Drew: It's brown. I am telling you it's brown. Oh shit I think it looks a little red under this light.
Ape: Looks yellow to me. It's not brown, and definitely not red.
Drew: *Yanking the evidence from Apeman* - Look - it is fucking brown. I think it's a show. Oh fuck it's too early. What is going on? I am not ready yet. The baby can't possibly be coming out right now - it is not the right time....the lungs needs maturing.....gain some's fucking brown...oh shit.
Ape: Hey calm down. Take a shower first, and don't rush it, take your time and relax, then we will call the midwife okay? I still think it's yellow. It is no where near brown.
Drew; IT'S FUCKING BROWN. OH MY GOD. I am nowhere near ready yet! I haven't even packed my bags yet. I haven't even washed anything, I don't have a birth plan!!!!!
Ape: The shower. Now.

A 10 minute shower, followed by a 10 minute (with controlled inner-calm) conversation with midwife. Was told not to worry, brown discharge is not uncommon between 30 to 35 weeks. Any further coloured discharge or unusual developments to contact the hospital again. In the mean time I should rest up, put feet up at least, and call the doctor first thing in the morning to advice him on this latest development.

The evidence (stained panty liner) was left on display near the basin.

Unborn Poopee's Gestational Age: 32 weeks and 4 days
Present: Drew & Apeman
Location: Ape-Land Bathroom
Evidence: A single stained Carefree panty-liner - breathable and unscented - sadly displayed next to the bathroom basin.

Drew: It's yellow.
Ape: I told you so. You freak.

Monday, February 05, 2007

32 weeks

Often it feels a little freaky. Poopee's movements are very coordinated now. Instead of jabs and sudden reflex movements, she is now doing slow (but coordinated) arms, legs and elbow movements. Last night, as I laid on bed (probably a little too quickly), she wasn't ready for my fast movements so she literally went from one side of my stomach, swwwwwish and toooooink onto the other side of my stomach. It was really cute. Then she thrashed her legs and arms fiercely to let me know - NOT HAPPY MOM!

Lately Apeman's been inspecting my body alot. Not in the dirty way, but he is totally fascinated with my body changes. The boobs are bigger (and a bit saggier, which is strange for somebody with small boobs to start with), the stomach is stretching and stretching, plus I am carrying quite low so he finds that amusing too. He talks to his unborn every night - telling her how much daddy loves her, and how he can't wait to see her face. It's quite sweet. Oh - he told me he misses sex too.

Yeah whatever.

No other major developments except we bought a stroller on impluse (it felt right when we saw it), and I bought myself a nappy bag - my last little bit of luxury before baby arrives. I measure 42 - 43 inches around the stomach, and I haven't seen my pubis-clitoris region for months now. I seem to have zero hair loss (for months - I cannot find a single strand of stray hair on the bathroom floor - or anywhere else).

I have also started to think a little about the birthing process, wondering how we are going to get le-babe out from le-little-hole. It's scary but I will worry about that once I stop worrying about carrying le-babe in le-utero.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Knickers Freak

Hasn't been a good week as the pain at my tailbone is getting increasingly worse - I average maybe about 3 hours sleep per night. Sleeping on my sides, my back or even sitting up doesn't seem to do the trick. However, Poopee's kicks more than makes up for the pain and lack of sleep. It's worth it.

And since these days I don't look forward to sleeping (sadly it is almost like a chore) - I look for things to do just before I go to bed to tire myself out. Last night interestingly it was to tidy my knickers drawer.

I am not proud of this, and this maybe a freakish tendency, but I have more than 80 pairs of knickers. Let's just say I will never EVER run out of knickers to wear.

But don't get me wrong, I am not a spend-freak because I never overspend on a single pair of knickers - my philosophy is that every pair is my faovurite, so there cannot possibly be a pair I love so much that I have to pay premium for it. I almost always buy on sale, and there is not a single pair in my drawer which I don't like - which explains the ridiculous quantity.

The obsession probably started when I was 16 - that's when mom stopped buying me knickers and I had to go out and buy my own. Mom used to buy me these hideous granny styled knickers by the dozens. My first purchase was sexy, they are black and slightly lacy and therefore seemed naughty to me. They were hideously uncomfortable (back then, hipsters styled knickers didn't exist) - the lace just keeps digging into me.

I buy knickers from anywhere and everywhere - I have cheap but reliable ones from KMart and Target. I also have dodgy ones I purchase on impulse overseas - including a few kiddie-sized ones (that were meant to fit all) from China and Singapore which never really fit me in the first place but I try to jam myself into them whenver I can. When I was in the States last year I had the opportunity to be up close and personal to Victoria's Secret, which absolutely thrilled me to bits. I ended up with a few pairs of lacy ones, including one pair that has `Kiss Me' engraved at the back and pink ribbons on either side of the hips. Haven't worn them yet because I don't want Apeman to maul me if he sees me in them.

My favourites are probably from the Elle Macpherson range, she makes good knickers - slightly uncomfortable because of the wedge factor she so seems to favour but nevertheless tasteful. I also enjoy the Bonds variety - but they wear out very easily so I tend to them in bulk whenever they goes on sale. Oh the colours and patterns available are nice too.

I don't have a single favourite pair, but there is one pair which I am quite partial to (but still not my favourite). I still remember the day I bought it. It was late night shopping, another lonely night, there was a sales rack with tonnes of cast offs from a sale, and there it was - a pair of Calvin Klein nude coloured granny styled knickers. It is so plain you can almost miss it if not for the hideously expensive price tag. The recommended retail price was $70 but it was marked down to $20. Still epensive for a pair of nude knickers but I was totally obsessed with it. The reason? It has two frilly bits of pink lacy fabric hanging off either side of the hips, its so damn plain but so damn sexy at the same time. When I put it on it looks totally granny, but casual, and slightly sexy all at the same time. It is just timeless. I had to have it and so I did.

I also have quite an extensive (yet affordable) sleepwear/lougewear collection which I will talk about, I'm sure, another fine day.