Saturday, November 12, 2005

Summer Holiday

Yup - still here.

The day after the last post - the holy mother of the forever maternal river of blood came rushing, I had a big period. It kind of goes hand in hand nicely with my hangover and that sorry month of misery I called (almost) frozen embryo transfer cycle. Not nice.

And then I had a week of life changing experience. I stepped back from my usual role and started a new job - doing something a little less intense, and supposingly less stressful because I am supposed to use a little less brain (not that I use that much of my brain anyway). Work people around me thought I had gone insane. I soldiered on with my thick skinned face - because the last few months I had a totally different outlook on life and I feel most importantly that I do not need to justify my actions for anybody (with reference to the nosey un-family-like members).

And I delievered what I said here. I still get the odd person asking me about `how's everything?', `are you guys still trying?'. I smile sweetly and said no, life is too beautiful and I am relatively young so I much rather enjoy life the way it is. But thanks for asking. And oh did I tell you about my hangover last week?

Not that we are not trying. We try. I am not on any sort of contraception (derr! like THAT's going to do it for us...), and we have sex whenever we can - which is not that often but hey, sex is sex and we all have to be in the mood for it. And most importantly I don't whinge about this whole infertility issue anymore. Not even to the long suffering Apeman. We talk about our future as if it will fill with happiness with, or without, children.

Life should keep getting better - and so it should be.

Last night we went out to celebrate our birthdays - there's a couple of us who is turning 31 - and for some, turning 32. It was a night of laughter, beer, shooters (oh yes), dancing, loud music and a female DJ who staggered into the ladies loo absolutely plastered - demanding for the spot at the front of the long que in exchange for a dedicated spin to that person - which was me. I said sure go right ahead and pee away. And despite being quite intoxicated, she kept her promise and spun me a cool track. It was really cute.

And then we acted our age, me and Apeman went home just after midnight because one of my ears popped due to the loud music and became partially deaf. We bought a large bag of McDonald treats scoffed it down at home - just like the way it was when we were struggling uni students after a long night studying or at the pub.

Once I was told by a gifted woman that babies only come to you when you are happy and shine positive energies.

If all these life changing experiences and appreciation of life don't attract a baby into our lives, I don't know what can.


Thalia said...

I'm glad you're coping, although I have to disagree violently with the "you'll only get a baby if you're happy". It just has to be bullshit, given when many women get pregnant. That doesn't, of course, mean that you shouldn't take that as a good sign that you're feeling better and enjoying life, just that you also shouldn't beat yourself up if you're NOT.

betty said...

I've just read your last four posts and it was wonderful reading. Enjoy youself you young womanly thing with so much ahead of you!

Panda said...

I can absolutely vouch for the fact that I was neither happy nor shining positive energies when i finally managed to get up the duff. Quite the opposite.

Far from the "it'll happen when its meant to happen" crapola that people spout, I think that actually there is no rhyme nor reason to the baby lottery.

i'm glad to hear that you're having some fun though.

Ova Girl said...

Drew, I'm just glad you are feeling happier and more energised. We know how draining the TTC rollercoaster is on everyone.

Thinking of you.

Mony said...

Happy Birthday Drew! Sounds like you had a great night! Cheers sweetie!

Ova Girl said...

Drew...just checking in to say, it's been awhile since you posted, hope you are ok. I know it's getting to the silly season at work etc... anhyoo, take care.

Mony said...

I'm back......but you're not. Hope everything is ok in your world, thinking of you & still checking in.

Drew said...

Oh hi girls!

Sorry haven't posted for a while! Thanks for thinking of me - I am still hanging in there!!!!!

Lv Drew