If you don't want to know, don't go digging.
Bought a magazine yesterday with a rather unfortunate picture of Britney Spears on the cover - poor lass was photographed with her double chin and her post-baby stomach hanging out - photographers can be really cruel if they want to be. The girl just had a baby - at least she didn't starve herself like the other supermodels and actresses out there and appeared anorexic just weeks after giving birth.
So I turn to the back for the quick gossips, and discovered my rock goddess Gwen Stefani, who is the epitomy of cool, rock chic and the iron board stomach is pregnant.
Oh dear God.
Even rock goddesses are getting pregnant. And I am still sitting here wondering where all the sperm went the last six years we've been having unprotected sex, vaginal secretions as indication of ovulation, and why do planes almost always experience really bad turbulence when we fly over Indonesia.
We just had our six year anniversary. Six years of infertility. It is becoming very real.
Nothing much really, there is another one of those baby boom at work, just about everybody's wife is pregnant.
One incident I can recall was roughly between my 5th and my 6th IVF attempt, I was feeling particularly down, and ended up chatting to a lovely lovely boy whom I worked with because I really didn't feel like doing any real work. He is a good catch - he can cook really well, and treat ladies with alot of respect. I ended up chatting to him extensively about my kitchen knive collection for an hour. He told me at the time he started seeing a beautiful girl he met at his church and want to find out from me if there are any nice places around town to take her. I suggested a few upmarket eateries. He thanked me and asked if I liked his new jumper - a gift from his new lady friend. It was a nice jumper.
And last month he emailed me out of the blue (he has moved on to a new job), his wife (that lady friend of his) is up the duff. She's four months pregnant. He is a happy man.
Just goes to show how long this infertility journey has been for us. It is tiring. At times I want to say fuck you to the forces of nature who subjected us to this. But now I am way beyond that, it really is okay. I haven't lost hope but at the same time I have accepted it. I have somehow managed to convince myself that it is okay and not to get upset over it.
And thanks to those who left a comment for my last posting - you are all so incredibly wonderful and strong. :) For those who's journey has not been completed yet let's hope 2006 brings about good news and bundles of joy.