Monday, January 30, 2006

Another Pause

Another perfect 28-day cycle came and went and I am still fruitless with everyone else around me getting pregnant or due to give birth, all due in March or April, all miracles conceived during the heightened months of my pain. All Beckys and Marys are cradling their bundles of joy and grinning from the cover of heftily lifted magazines. I scream silently in defeat and ask for mercy.

All I am left with is a soaked pad of sadness and a spectacular shoe collection that gives me no pleasure and no meaning in life.

I just panicked. I want to see if there is a power somewhere I can trade my soul with. I just don’t understand.

Today is not a good day.

7 comments:

ninaB said...

hello from one single ovary girl to another. i've just discovered your blog and wanted to say hello and sorry you're having a bad day. i lost my ovary to endometriosis too. getting prepared to lose a tube (next week). it's a bitch isn't it, this IF crap?
ninaB

Mony said...

C'mere doll. Let me give you a hug. It's a dark day. You know this sadness well, don't you? You've felt it squeeze your heart before. You've ached like this so many times. I know.
When will the light flood in? When will things change & look up? Soon I hope, real soon because none of us deserve to be in the lonely dark for so long. Get through this day & the next day & hang on. You can do this. You've got to.

Em said...

Sorry Drew.

Ova Girl said...

I'm sorry Drew. Thinking of you.

xxx

Thalia said...

Going down into the dark place is hard, but sometimes that's just where we need to go. I'm sorry.

MC said...

Sorry you are having bad times Drew. Sometimes Hope things look up soon.

Betty said...

That sucks Drew. Hang in there Matey.