Was doing some thinking today (between my walk from the carpark to the office – which is like a 10 minute walk – quite pathetic).
I can sit here and mope around, be depressed, be crappy to Apeman, watch my marriage break down and die a lonely death.
I can get out and do the things I do, buy more frigging shoes, go swimming, go do yoga, continue to be at the sidelines for friends who are well into their pregnancies, and be happy for them, and be happy with what I have.
I choose the middle.
I shall continue with this bullcrap called in-vitro fertilisation, buy more frigging shoes, go do yoga, be crappy to Apeman – but whatever I choose to do my marriage is going to be a testimony of our love for each other. At our wedding reception 6 years ago, Apeman said to me, in front of a rather large audience, that there are a lot of stars amongst the sky, but he has found his shooting star. I guess he loved me. And still does for as long as I am not injecting myself with Puregon.
Puregon is making me depressed. This medication should be banned.
Day 7 today into my 10th/11th/12th cycle (I can’t remember). Will see how far we go.