Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Here we go again

Was doing some thinking today (between my walk from the carpark to the office – which is like a 10 minute walk – quite pathetic).


I can sit here and mope around, be depressed, be crappy to Apeman, watch my marriage break down and die a lonely death.




I can get out and do the things I do, buy more frigging shoes, go swimming, go do yoga, continue to be at the sidelines for friends who are well into their pregnancies, and be happy for them, and be happy with what I have. 


I choose the middle.


I shall continue with this bullcrap called in-vitro fertilisation, buy more frigging shoes, go do yoga, be crappy to Apeman – but whatever I choose to do my marriage is going to be a testimony of our love for each other.  At our wedding reception 6 years ago, Apeman said to me, in front of a rather large audience, that there are a lot of stars amongst the sky, but he has found his shooting star.  I guess he loved me.  And still does for as long as I am not injecting myself with Puregon.


Puregon is making me depressed.  This medication should be banned.


Day 7 today into my 10th/11th/12th cycle (I can’t remember).   Will see how far we go.


ninaB said...

Middle ground sounds like a good plan, but what do I know? I've been trying to find some middle ground myself without too much success.
Wish I could say something helpful about dealing with puregon, the apeman etc. but all I know is that it's hard. Very very hard. Even shooting stars need a break sometimes.

Thalia said...

Apeman said something pretty cool six years ago, I'd tell him that he needs to repeat it on a regular basis. Sorry the Puregon is kicking in so miserably, I hope it starts to feel better soon.

Mony said...

Puregon. Oh bittersweet.
Glad to see you back, Drew. You tough cookie. My inspiration.

Ova Girl said...

Hang in there Drew, you can do this. And you are so right, your beautiful relationship with your husband is the light in the darkness.


Em said...

More shoes...yes!!! Your marriage sounds very special. I know people who have split up over really stupid things and IF surely must be the biggest test of a marriage so it's a testament to you and your husband that you getting through it.