Didn't sleep well last night for obvious reasons (grandpa's passing, thinking about poor grandma and how she's coping).
Woke up around 2pm and went for a pee. And realised, Shock! Horror! I am having night sweats. My PJ's were soaked.
OH MY GOD.
My new and improved lifestyle in honour of Grandpa will probably think this is nothing. Just nightsweats as a result of a very stressful day. Pffft.
My old pessimistic self is screaming OH HOLY FUCK I AM GOING INTO EARLY MENOPAUSE!!!!
I am going to treat it as nothing, will see if it happens again tonight. Am stressing but also trying to stay calm.
Woke up this morning and felt like my right ovary is about to explode. It really is PCOS. It feels really lumpy and painful. And the new ovary on the left is definitely stuck high up my lower back. Fucking Deirdre.
Then halfway through the day I see blood on my knickers. Today is Day 30 and I haven't even ovulated yet according to the ultrasound last wednesday.
Again, my new and improved lifestyle in honour of Grandpa will think it is probably my period - hack, it's been 30 days hasn't it? So yeah you should have a period right about now. So there you go. TAKE THAT Libra Fluer.
My old pessimistic self is screaming (*in a high pitched girlie voice*) oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck - it's mid-cycle spotting, I am spotting again. Oh all the surgeries, all the ovary cutting, all the cathether inserting, all the learning how to walk again amounts to nothing. I am back to old self. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
Let's just hope that I only broke into a sweat last night because I was having bad dreams, and I am about to have a period so that's why I am spotting today.