Monday, May 15, 2006

No More Questions

Negative again.  Lord please have mercy on my soul. 

I have done all the crying and wailing – after once again getting a negative on Mother’s Day.  Anybody who comes within 10 metres of me bearing a gift of pink carnations and a box of chocolate (with a bow on it) risks physical attack by deranged woman.

At this stage, after 13 (14?) cycles, you might think – shouldn’t you just stop and spare yourself?  Should you just look IT in the eye and say, I LOSE.

All I know right now is, I don’t just want a baby, I want to be a mother.  However it takes. 

Once I regroup I will come back with a plan – and believe me I have a good plan in place.  I have so much in me to keep going I must be the happiest disappointed person today in my clinic.  In the mean time I am faced with the aftermath and bloodbath.

Thanks so much to those who dropped by my website and rewarding me with such beautiful word of encouragement – this world need more mothers like you and I wish for you all dreams to come true.

 

14 comments:

Thalia said...

I'm so sorry, Drew. You are my new definition of resilience.

Kath said...

Dear Drew, I came here via Thalia's. I'm so sorry about your results, and all this fresh pain piled on top of old pain. I hope your wish comes true for you soon.

Chan said...

I'm so sorry it didn't work out this time Drew. Please know that when you're ready to begin your next plan, we'll all be here to support you.
Take care of you

Sheryl said...

Oh Drew... I'm so so sorry :(

ninaB said...

Oh Drew. I'm so sorry. Negative for me too. Not the side I wanted us to be on.

Kris said...

I'm so very sorry.

Ova Girl said...

drew I'm so sorry.Not fair at all. Look forward to your plan and admire your courage and resilience.

Millie said...

I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you and hope you're taking good care of yourself. I look forward to hearing about your new plan.

Mony said...

Oh Drew. I have circled around your blog for these past days...scared, hopeful, desperate for news. Not wanting to look incase you posted this news. Sweetheart, I am at a loss for words. Terribly disappointed and angry & sad for you. Please keep your posts coming....I need to read your words & draw strength from one of the most battle experienced IF girls. You. Warrior Woman. I look up to you immensely.

Mony said...

What state of Australia are you in? Tassie? I couldn't find your email.
monymail@tgp.com.au
Let me know.

Meri-ann said...

Just found you via Thalia, and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am. I'm also in Aust (Tas). Will definitely be dropping by again to check on you... Be kind to yourself and drink copious amounts of alcohol...

Pamplemousse said...

Thinking of you, hon. I am so sorry.

Sunnie said...

Drew,

I don't even know what to say. You are so strong to have faced this over and over again and still have the fight in you to continue. I am so sorry that this time did not work. My heart is just breaking honey. :( I wish I could just wave a wand and make you pregnant myself. I am just woefully inadequate at comforting you now, so I will stop talking, but know that we are all here for you. Lean on us as you grieve. :(

Fertile Soul said...

I'm so sorry. I dont know what to say ... but i know how it feels.

Take care,