Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Infertile-land

Was reviewing my latest edition of the Madison magazine - and was reading the `Letters to the Editor' section - and came across this lovely lady's comments about an article from the previous issue.

The article in question was a debate about whether to have a baby whilst you're young - or maybe have a career/travel first - then have the baby when you are older. The lady in question just had a baby and find it necessary to defend her childless friends - there is not always a fine line as depicted by the magazine.

The article basically depicts two extreme scenarios - a young model in her early twenties with a son conceived accidentally with her ex-partner, and a television high-flyer who got married in her late 30's and is currently pregnant with her second child at aged 42.

She find it stereo-typing that people find it necessary to condemn women who are in a relationship - but childless - because people think they are putting career/travel/shoes in place of starting a family. She said some of her freinds are challenged in the baby-making department and therefore ended up childless - it is not by choice but by circumstances. So why should they be judged?

Also some of us don't get to `choose' when we can have babies. I wanted to have a baby when I was 26. Now I am 31 and still working on it.

I was asked last year by a nosey fucker if it was because I prefer the money from working better (so I can buy more shoes) - so therefore I am putting off starting a family (and she wasn't joking). I said yes. No need to clarify my situation with her. I share my IVF stories with people who genuinely care.

Yes - I guess to some people, after six years of marriage with no children is a little odd - maybe they presume I don't like children - and that I enjoy my 9 to 5 job so much that I am delaying motherhood. However I do find it necessary at times to defend myself to some family (who doesn't know about my IVF problem) - because they feel it is my duty to breed.

Well done to that lady who stood up for people like me - the reproductively challenged.


MC said...

I like your answer to the nosey fucker. It's extraordinary how people feel they have the right to ask such personal questions.

Ova Girl said...

So irritating and so damn ignorant too.

Em said...

Well done. IF has made me less judgemental. Some people are nosy buggers. Their life is boring and rubbish so they have to lay judgement on others'.