Monday, September 05, 2005

Homecoming - A Relief to `Have' My Body Back

The heavy period has come and is almost gone - with some luck - tomorrow I may even be able to down-grade to a panty liner instead of the pillow I am sitting on at the moment.

With the HCG hormones now gone - my boobs returned to their normal shape, they don't hurt anymore, even the ovary seems to have calmed down and be less painful - so it seems like I am back to normal (I hope).

Apeman always gets really horny when I have my period - it is just so annoying - I just don't feel sexual when I am still leaking blood and my butt and back is sore from adhesions.

"Can we have sex tonight? I really want to have sex with you."
"Can we have sex on Monday night then? I really want to have sex with you Monday night."
"Errr...maybe - it depends if I am still..."
"But I really want to have sex with you."
"Oh whatever. Sod off for now because you're in my way." More channel flicking followed.

He recently tabulated the number of times we had sex the past year - it works out to be roughly two to three times a month. Yes. No shit. My reasoning for this alarmingly low number is because I am only fertile when I ovulate, and you are supposed to have sex when you are fertile - so when I make egg, we have sex a few days before ovulation, then wait one day so he can `conserve' his sperm, then we have sex again a day later closer to ovulation, and then maybe once more after ovulation to make sure we have put in enough `reserves' for my egg. And then definitely no sex during the luteal phase because I read somewhere that you shouldn't really in case you really are pregnant. (And that article alone basically fucks up our sex life entirely).

Plus - who needs sex when I can have IVF. IVF dampens your sex and love life so much that it is almost ironic to undergo it - especially after a few attempts.

I think I am back to my old self - Saturday was rather miserable and I was a bit teary. I blurted my sorrows out to a friend who didn't know I was undergoing my 8th attempt (she was there for the 5th and the 7th attempts) - she offered sympathy and valium in case I need it. I thanked her but passed. I am strong enough to cope with IVF - no drugs needed.


Kath said...

We had a similar sex life during IVF. Between depression, misery and frustration, I really wasn't in the mood. Plus, when the whole baby making aspect is removed, making sex entirely recreational, it takes the romance and, well, point, right out of it.

Apeman should be damn grateful for those three times a month!! I think we had a similar batting record. M. has never really recoved.

So sad compared to our pre-married days.

And..I would have taken your friend up on the valium.

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betty said...

Your sex life sounds similar to mine and Action Man's. I can't be bothered most of the time because it is usually the last thing on my mind-unless ovulating of course. Poor boys, they are always up for it!