Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Sadness (and Becky Cartwright)

Before I launch into a huge whinge about babyhood/infertility grounds/general retardness in the reproductive area - I must bring up my favourite topic regarding Becky Cartwright.

Basically the day Becky decided to become a regular contributor to my favourite goss magazine (to discuss motherhood, pregnant-hood and Leyton), I stopped buying it.

Then this appeared on the newstand (plus TV advertisements at 15 minute intervals thus inducing moments of non-HCG related nausea).

Major issues (for me) with regard to this magazine spread:

1. Becky, you got knocked up only weeks after meeting your beau. Prior to that you were probably more worried about getting ready for the Logies, what to wear, who to get your dresses from, your ex (some H&A guy which you only broke up with weeks ago), your lines for Home and Away, talent scouts from the US showing up at the H&A set, movie-deals, how to be a normal 20 year old under the lime-light of the jaded TV business. So the `I can't wait to be a mom' line is a little dramatic. But okay, I give you that. You must be excited. And probably Woman's Day, being the womanly mag that it is, needs to provide a politically correct title for the recently married new mom.

2. Becky looks skinny whilst pregnant. Is this normal or was the photo graphically enhanced to make a beautiful girl look even more beautiful with bump??

3. Fucking hell Becky, think of all the infertile women in Australia, and around the world. The last thing I need to see today, (after my outburst last night), is a content Becky held by Leyton in full pregnant glory. Not only are you guys totally rich, totally young, totally successful and probably Becky was given a waterfront mansion in Sydney to live in, and she probably has an interior designer for the nursery and was sponsered by Morrissey or Wayne Cooper for pregnancy-wear. But you are also, goddammit, beautifully and undeniably pregnant.

I now sulk in silence.

Now I forget what I was supposed to fucking write about today.

Oh, I had a total face-off with Apeman last night over a family hug-meet scheduled for tonight. His relatives are here again from overseas, and we have to do dinner. Last time during a similar meet, I was told by an aunty that I should look into having a baby right now (hint hint nudge nudge) because the government give you a $3000 baby bonus. Fuck the baby bonus. I am having troubles paying off the IVF bills. Pfft, $3000.

I reasoned with Apeman that I don't want to go because I feel so exposed to baby questions - it makes me want to vomit/torture small animals/cry. I am afraid I will totally snap one day and tell everybody to fuck off and leave me alone. I will scream `Leave me alone I am infertile so what can I do about it??', probably followed by 5 years of non-stop gossiping amongst the family-hood.

He told me you cannot continue to live like this, you are shutting everybody out and you cannot live like a hermit all the time. I said I will do whatever I like because it makes me happier that way and I am merely protecting myself - because no matter how strong I am, sometimes words that come out of ignorant people's mouth still hurts, and your family are so fucking fertile they keep falling pregnant so it is really difficult for me to deal with. One of them even told me blatantly that everybody is talking about me and wondering why we are not pregnant yet. He said well I really had enough of you in that case - because you are making things difficult for me. I said well fine then you can divorce me and you won't be miserable anymore and I will shit in peace. He said nothing.

Then three hours later we held hands watching TV in bed. He gave me a hug in the morning, as if he understood.

And I feel better - until I saw Becky Cartwright's pregnant form during lunch time.


Property Investment said...
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betty said...

Well that Cartwright woman may have everything but Drew...how long will it last? She is bound to break up with Leighton in no time and then she will be a gorgeous, rich but a single mother. She musn't be that rich anyway because she is doing so much work for magazines-or maybe she is greedy.

You are strong Drew and I think that staying away from relatives who ask hard questions is a darn good thing to protect your sanity.

As for the baby bonus. It shits me that fertile people get that money for no bloody effort other than having a baby and can spend it on anything they like...big screen tv's, baby stuff, groceries, drugs and ciggarettes.
As for us infertiles...if we ever get to the stage of recieving that $3000 I'm sure it will have to make up for the hole left in our finances where fertility treatment blew the budget.Shits me.

Em said...

Bec and leyts will be OVER within 3 years I predict.
How can it be successful when it all happened so quick. They haven't even had a chance to know each other as a couple.
She will be flogging her 'My marriage split heartbreak' before you know it.

I can't stand any news about Princess Mary. I have been out of Oz so I haven't felt the full force of Marymania but I am not looking forward to it.

MC said...

Both Mary and Bec shit the hell out of me. I just have to avoid those magazines.
The family thing is hard, sometimes I just feel like blurting out to my husband's family that he is infertile (and now my age doesn't help). I know everyone is assuming it's me. I'm sick of going to family things and friends' things and having everyone around me telling me they are pregnant.

Chan said...

The whole Bec/Leyton thing makes me want to puke in my hat.
Hadn't they gone to sex ed in school??
And who in their right mind wouldn't use a condom when rooting Leyton? Who knows where that little greasey monkey has been..... eewwwww.