Monday, May 30, 2005

Nearing the End

Another cycle is coming to an end.

The basal body temperature is starting to decline, the boobs has gone done in size, and I saw some hint of blood last night whilst wiping myself during my 89th trip to the toilet. it will not be 6th time lucky. Or was it the 7th? I have lost count completely.

Never mind - when I first saw the bleeding I just consoled myself - it's okay, it is not the end of the world. I am 31 this year. I still have time on my side. I still have time to have a baby.

I need to be mentally and emotionally ready in case it happens to me soon.

But in the end no matter how positive I may seem - everything just plain sucks when IVF doesn't work out. I hate it when I call up the clinic for my blood test results and get the monotone sound of the nurses telling you no pregnancy hormone has been detected (ha - like I haven't heard that one before), stop all medication and wait for your period to come.

Never mind. I will keep eating healthy, keep positive for the next round. I have already started listening to meditating-like music to promote general well-being so I will be ready for next time.

I will keep fighting.

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